{"id":12362,"date":"2015-02-18T02:00:27","date_gmt":"2015-02-18T08:00:27","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/ourpeacefulplanet.com\/?p=12362"},"modified":"2025-03-16T03:23:23","modified_gmt":"2025-03-16T03:23:23","slug":"how-to-diffuse-an-argument","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/craftyourhappiness.com\/2015\/02\/18\/how-to-diffuse-an-argument\/","title":{"rendered":"How To Diffuse An Argument"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-12692\" src=\"http:\/\/ourpeacefulplanet.com\/wp\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/01\/How-To-Defuse-An-Argument-106.jpg\" alt=\"How To Defuse An Argument 106\" width=\"639\" height=\"875\" \/><\/p>\n<h2 style=\"text-align: justify;\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\" size-full wp-image-12338 aligncenter\" src=\"http:\/\/ourpeacefulplanet.com\/wp\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/01\/blank300x23.png\" alt=\"blank300x23\" width=\"300\" height=\"23\" \/><\/h2>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright wp-image-12334 \" style=\"margin-left: 2px;\" src=\"http:\/\/ourpeacefulplanet.com\/wp\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/01\/by.roy_.rivers-251x300.png\" alt=\"by.roy.rivers\" width=\"160\" height=\"191\" \/>Since my teenage years I\u2019ve found myself acting as a mediator between family members, friends, business associates, and occasionally even casual acquaintances.\u00a0 How I came to this role stems from when I first used the word \u201ccompromise\u201d while trying to negotiate with my dad about growing my hair longer at around the age of 15.\u00a0 I could see his previously harsh opposition to the idea turn into a wry sort of amusement as he asked me what I had in mind.\u00a0 In that instant I discovered that all things in the world are not set in stone. It was a groundbreaking moment in my life!<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft wp-image-12603\" src=\"http:\/\/ourpeacefulplanet.com\/wp\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/01\/chill.pill_.jpg\" alt=\"chill.pill\" width=\"117\" height=\"101\" \/>From that time forward I\u2019ve called upon my mediator talents to help myself and others in a wide variety of circumstances.\u00a0 When people disagree they are usually able to remain civil in tone and action, but there have been times when I was out with friends and a conversation between them suddenly escalated to a full-on argument right in front of me.\u00a0 Though it might be hard to diffuse a situation like this, I\u2019ve developed a few tips or guidelines that may prove valuable whenever you find yourself in need of administering a chill pill during a sticky situation.\u00a0 Here\u2019s a little wisdom you might consider.<\/p>\n<h2 style=\"text-align: justify;\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\" size-full wp-image-12338 aligncenter\" src=\"http:\/\/ourpeacefulplanet.com\/wp\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/01\/blank300x23.png\" alt=\"blank300x23\" width=\"300\" height=\"23\" \/><strong>Remain Calm<\/strong><\/h2>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright wp-image-12613\" src=\"http:\/\/ourpeacefulplanet.com\/wp\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/01\/How-To-Defuse-An-Argument-1a.jpg\" alt=\"How To Defuse An Argument 1a\" width=\"175\" height=\"213\" \/>I think we all know what it feels like when calmness has left the building!\u00a0 An emotional trigger gets pulled and many times an eruption of some sort usually follows.\u00a0 In the midst of an argument neither side wants to back down especially since they \u201cknow\u201d the other side is patently wrong!\u00a0 In fact, one side might clearly be in the wrong or blatantly seeking to harm the other.\u00a0 Usually this is not the case however.\u00a0 Most often, there\u2019s been just one little detail about something that has put them over their \u201cI can handle this\u201d quota.\u00a0 Just because someone has unleashed their internal beast, doesn\u2019t mean that you have to!<\/p>\n<h2 style=\"text-align: justify;\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\" size-full wp-image-12338 aligncenter\" src=\"http:\/\/ourpeacefulplanet.com\/wp\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/01\/blank300x23.png\" alt=\"blank300x23\" width=\"300\" height=\"23\" \/><\/h2>\n<p><!--- Media Net Red Blue Text---><\/p>\n<p><center><br \/>\n<script id=\"mNCC\">\/\/ <![CDATA[\nmedianet_width='600'; medianet_height= '120'; medianet_crid='435834489';\n\/\/ ]]><\/script><script id=\"mNSC\" src=\"http:\/\/contextual.media.net\/nmedianet.js?cid=8CU4X179M\"><\/script><\/center><\/p>\n<h2 style=\"text-align: justify;\"><strong>Take A Short Time Out<\/strong><\/h2>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft wp-image-12610 \" style=\"margin-right: 6px;\" src=\"http:\/\/ourpeacefulplanet.com\/wp\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/01\/How-To-Defuse-an-Argumennt-2-276x300.jpg\" alt=\"How To Defuse an Argumennt 2\" width=\"201\" height=\"218\" \/>Many times a good place to start is to separate yourself (or them) from the situation for a few minutes so the warring parties can regroup.\u00a0 It\u2019s a good idea to just say something like, \u201cYou know, I need a few minutes before we get too heavily into this.\u201d Then use this time to regain your composure and allow your reasoning ability to return.\u00a0 Arguments are highly stressful especially when all your buttons have just been pushed.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">We tend to want to just yell, then try to logically make our point, and if it\u2019s not accepted we want to just yell again and force the issue to our favor!\u00a0 So, take a few moments to cool off and get clear.<\/p>\n<h2 style=\"text-align: justify;\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\" size-full wp-image-12338 aligncenter\" src=\"http:\/\/ourpeacefulplanet.com\/wp\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/01\/blank300x23.png\" alt=\"blank300x23\" width=\"300\" height=\"23\" \/><\/h2>\n<h2 style=\"text-align: justify;\"><strong>Listen With Focus<\/strong><\/h2>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright wp-image-12622\" style=\"margin-left: 6px;\" src=\"http:\/\/ourpeacefulplanet.com\/wp\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/01\/How-To-Defuse-an-Argumennt-3b.jpg\" alt=\"How To Defuse an Argumennt 3b\" width=\"231\" height=\"200\" \/>When it\u2019s time to re-engage take a deep breath and LISTEN to the other side. Really listen, and maybe empathize a little.\u00a0 They want you to hear what they\u2019ve got to say just as badly as you\u2019re wanting them to hear your side of things.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Lots of arguments happen because both sides never took the time to listen in the first place.\u00a0 You might actually hear something you didn\u2019t know.\u00a0 <em>Listening is not the same as agreeing<\/em> but it will certainly allow progress to be made.<\/p>\n<h2 style=\"text-align: justify;\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\" size-full wp-image-12338 aligncenter\" src=\"http:\/\/ourpeacefulplanet.com\/wp\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/01\/blank300x23.png\" alt=\"blank300x23\" width=\"300\" height=\"23\" \/><\/h2>\n<h2 style=\"text-align: justify;\"><strong>Repeat Their Position Back To Them<\/strong><\/h2>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Do this in your own words and not in a patronizing or belittling way.\u00a0 You\u2019re essentially saying something like, \u201cIf I\u2019m understanding you right, you\u2019re saying this\u2026\u201d\u00a0 When you take this approach you\u2019re making sure that you both are understanding the other person\u2019s side of things.\u00a0 This often takes the bite out of an argument because it eliminates each one talking over the other person\u2019s side.\u00a0 It\u2019s also a measure of honesty.\u00a0 <strong><em>Ask them to do the same for you<\/em><\/strong>\u00a0 until you both know that you\u2019re repeating each others position the right way.<img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\" size-full wp-image-12338 aligncenter\" src=\"http:\/\/ourpeacefulplanet.com\/wp\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/01\/blank300x23.png\" alt=\"blank300x23\" width=\"300\" height=\"23\" \/><\/p>\n<h2 style=\"text-align: justify;\"><strong>Identify What You Are In Agreement On<\/strong><\/h2>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft wp-image-12620 \" style=\"margin-right: 6px;\" src=\"http:\/\/ourpeacefulplanet.com\/wp\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/01\/How-To-Defuse-An-Argument-5.jpg\" alt=\"How To Defuse An Argument 5\" width=\"376\" height=\"251\" \/>Most of the time, the simple act of listening to each others side and then knowing where you\u2019re in agreement will take all the actual anger out of an argument and allow clearer heads to prevail.\u00a0 If you think about it, most arguments are started over something that has been previously agreed upon.\u00a0 Things like\u2026 a set procedure at work, curfew times, homework, or paying a bill.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Let\u2019s look into that just a little closer.\u00a0 If the argument is about a procedural thing, like a detail of your job at work, or hanging pictures in the living room, or anything that has to do with doing a certain thing at a certain time, you might consider whether a minor change in the steps or the timing of it can be adjusted.\u00a0 If the argument is about religion or politics, you might have to agree to disagree.\u00a0 Still, following a few of these steps should take the harshness out of the argument and allow that the other person\u2019s opinions and viewpoints don\u2019t have to match your own.<\/p>\n<h2 style=\"text-align: justify;\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\" size-full wp-image-12338 aligncenter\" src=\"http:\/\/ourpeacefulplanet.com\/wp\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/01\/blank300x23.png\" alt=\"blank300x23\" width=\"300\" height=\"23\" \/><\/h2>\n<h2 style=\"text-align: justify;\"><strong>Negotiate And Compromise When It Makes Sense<\/strong><\/h2>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">You really want to consider your options here.\u00a0 Sometimes you might need to correct an error or change your mind about something, like the timing thing we talked about. Your argument shouldn\u2019t be based upon you winning at all costs.\u00a0 If it\u2019s not a big deal, don\u2019t turn it into one because as surely as you do, you\u2019ll only fan the fire and make it more severe.\u00a0 When you successfully negotiate or compromise you must remember that in doing so it will make things better for both sides.\u00a0 This is not a time to be snarky, condescending, or overly rigid.\u00a0 The mark of a good negotiator or in making a compromise ultimately reflects well on both parties as it does much more than simply restoring normalcy.<img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\" size-full wp-image-12338 aligncenter\" src=\"http:\/\/ourpeacefulplanet.com\/wp\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/01\/blank300x23.png\" alt=\"blank300x23\" width=\"300\" height=\"23\" \/><\/p>\n<h2 style=\"text-align: justify;\"><strong>If It Needs Time, Give It Some Time<\/strong><\/h2>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">You might get some new information that requires a little thought on your part.\u00a0 Remember, not all things can be fixed in a single conversation.\u00a0 A good decision is to plan a way to resolve it.\u00a0 You may need to get creative, or do something you\u2019ve been putting off for quite some time.\u00a0 Depending on the severity of the argument, you might need to get a third party involved.\u00a0 You might need couples therapy, or anger management.\u00a0 The overriding factor should always be to act on what\u2019s fair and to do it in a reasonable and timely manner.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright wp-image-12617 \" style=\"margin-left: 6px;\" src=\"http:\/\/ourpeacefulplanet.com\/wp\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/01\/How-To-Defuse-An-Argument-4.jpg\" alt=\"How To Defuse An Argument 4\" width=\"329\" height=\"222\" \/><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">With my friends, I\u2019ve had to remind them that they\u2019re still friends and even though something might come up from time to time, we can address the issues and move on while friendships remain intact.\u00a0 Sometimes things happen that put us on edge.\u00a0 Most of the time the people around us might not be aware of what the underlying issue is in the first place. It\u2019s usually the small details of something that pushes a person over their limit.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Once you start using these little tips in your relationships, you\u2019ll begin to realize that there\u2019s almost nothing you can\u2019t take on.\u00a0 And you\u2019ll do it with more consideration and integrity.\u00a0 You\u2019ll be happier and you\u2019ll help the arguing parties to be happier.\u00a0 One thing I\u2019m sure you\u2019ll notice for sure.\u00a0 As soon as you know what to do in these circumstances, you\u2019ll get plenty of practice with your new found skills!<\/p>\n<h2 style=\"text-align: justify;\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\" size-full wp-image-12338 aligncenter\" src=\"http:\/\/ourpeacefulplanet.com\/wp\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/01\/blank300x23.png\" alt=\"blank300x23\" width=\"300\" height=\"23\" \/><\/h2>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Since my teenage years I\u2019ve found myself acting as a mediator between family members, friends, business associates, and occasionally even casual acquaintances.\u00a0 How I came to this role stems from when I first used the word \u201ccompromise\u201d while trying to negotiate with my dad about growing my hair longer at around the age of 15.\u00a0 [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":12691,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1603,1641],"tags":[754,755,756,757,758,759],"class_list":["post-12362","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-1-blog","category-relationships","tag-arguments","tag-ending-arguments","tag-how-to-argue","tag-how-to-compromise-in-an-argument","tag-how-to-diffuse-an-argument","tag-relationships"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/craftyourhappiness.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12362","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/craftyourhappiness.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/craftyourhappiness.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/craftyourhappiness.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/craftyourhappiness.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=12362"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/craftyourhappiness.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12362\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":38896,"href":"https:\/\/craftyourhappiness.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12362\/revisions\/38896"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/craftyourhappiness.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/12691"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/craftyourhappiness.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=12362"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/craftyourhappiness.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=12362"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/craftyourhappiness.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=12362"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}